I have had a Eureka! moment.
It was not, unfortunately, a good eureka moments, but it was still valuable.
I’m a good writer. I’m not remotely humble about it. I mean, I have the moments of self-doubt and imposter syndrome, but I also read a lot. My writing is better than a lot of stuff out there and, in spite of the fact that I often use other stories as a jump-start to my writing, it’s more original. (As I said, I’m not very humble about it.)
I’m a very good editor. I can even, given enough time, find the issues in my own work (although I prefer to have someone else do it). When it comes to straight line edits, my books are cleaner than a lot of professionally published works.
I do okay in cover creation. Yeah, I’d like to let someone else do the covers, but that costs money I don’t have, thanks to some debts with the Figments Mafia Mob Bosses. So I do my own. One day I’ll fix that, should my readers ever start actually buying my books.
What I don’t do well, though, is marketing. Guess what a successful self-publishing author needs to be successful? Good marketing.
I watched Big Eyes on Netflix a few nights ago. Amy Adams (who secretly has a crush on me she doesn’t know about) plays an artist who marries another artist. She starts signing her works with his last name. Spoiler Alert: he’s a fantastic marketer and steals her work to sell as his own, making her famous by proxy.
I was pathetically excited when The Wicked Witch of Whatever came out that three people wanted a signed copy. Three. Think for just a moment how absolutely sad that is… and then I’ll throw in that two of the people had characters in the book, so they had a vested interest (and had been beta readers to boot).
Yeah. I suck at marketing.
So I’ve made a decision: no more trying to be a successful indie author. I don’t have the skill set for it. Instead, I’m going to write my books, put them up for as cheap as possible (maybe put some of them up for free) and stop spending money on ISBN numbers, shipping, conventions, and other things.
No one is reading my stuff anyway, so why waste money on it?
Instead, I’ll write because I love writing (and I’m craptastically good at it) and I’ll just leave it out there. Honestly, I’m in such a funk that I really don’t think people deserve my books, but that’s okay. I’ll put them out there anyway.
My big Eureka! moment was really a Suck It! moment.
And that’s just what I’m going to do.
(Oh, and as for NaNo, I wrote 20k on Wednesday, then promptly crashed and burned on Thursday. 2 words all day and I’m going to delete those. No more big days. Not worth it.)