How I Art Greatly (How to Be an Amazing Writer)

April 15, 2015

Okay, I don’t art greatly. I don’t even art modestly. But I  am a pretty amazing writer.

I tend to watch people a lot. For one thing, it’s funny and I like the free entertainment. For another, it gives me more things to write about. I’ve noticed lately, though, that people aren’t very kind to themselves about writing.

I want to write, but I always write garbage.

I thought I wrote something wonderful, but my readers told me I should keep my day job.

I get tempted to go explain the problem to them, but I have nineteen restraining orders in place, so I thought I’d just tell you all here: Everyone starts out writing garbage.  The good writers keep writing anyway.

I know, you see my writing and wonder how I got to be an amazing writer in such a short period of time. I’m a Figment! I was created with twenty years of writing experience in my backstory.  You’re human (I could be wrong), so you have to do things the hard way. You have to write words, words, and more words until you get twenty years under your belt the old-fashioned way.

Of course, even literary geniuses like myself have another secret up our sleeves: we edit.  Yep, there it is, free for the taking.  I can crank out a book in about thirty days, but I still need at least another thirty days (I did mention literary genius, right?) before it becomes a masterpiece. That’s with twenty years of experience. You may need three months to write your book and another year to edit it.  You may even write a few things that you can’t salvage. That’s okay.  Write anyway.

In fact, even if you normally think of yourself as just being a reader, go write something today.  Turn off the pretty moving pictures, close the book you were reading (unless it’s mine), and write something. Don’t know where to start? Here’s a little nudge:

The sun fell into the ocean.

Yes, I’m gifting you with a magical sentence you may use to write any genre, even icky touchy-feely chick lit.  Leave me a comment in the comments section with your masterpiece. Or don’t. But write anyway.

If you don’t, you may put a tear in the space-time-space continuum, and you know what happens after that.


  • juegos friv May 26, 2016 at 6:39 pm

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  • Brian Short August 15, 2016 at 9:41 am

    I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one these days..

    • Zanzibar7 August 16, 2016 at 5:56 am

      I have no talent for Inter-Net things, so it’s not custom. But thank you for the nice compliment!

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