A: Alice in Wonderland

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Alice in Wonderland

A: Alice in Wonderland

You may have noticed I have a fascination with Alice in Wonderland. There’s something about Lewis Carroll’s crazy world that appeals to me. It may be the rabbits. It may be the Mad Hatter. (It’s probably not Alice.) Whatever it is, I love it.

Alice in WonderlandMy first book, Veneri Verbum, made use of the same craziness as the original Alice in Wonderland. My next Figments book, however, takes this a step further. I took Alice Through the Looking Glass and used it as a rough guideline for what would happen in my story.  Not exactly, but just enough to get the wheels turning.

Of course, my characters never do what they are supposed to. There’s something about Figments that makes them think they get to have opinions. Still, the guidelines was there.

So what is the appeal?

Lewis Carroll creates a zany cast of characters. In fact, the supposed main character, Alice, is really the most boring of the lot. I’m not saying Christopher is boring, but… well, it’s a good thing for him there are more interesting characters to help carry the story. My goal was to have the same draw with my non-main characters.

Carroll also breaks structure rules, which has a certain appeal to me. I’m not very good with rules. His books are far more free-form than structured. I tried to keep the same freedom when I was writing.

The last thing Carroll’s books have that mine seek to emulate is a sense that anything is possible and actually pretty reasonable to expect. After all, a hookah-smoking caterpillar and a cat who leaves its grin behind are no less impossible than a man who pops back into being after each death or a judge with a hot dog for a head. However, as the Queen in Alice Through the Looking Glass said, “I used to believe six impossible things before breakfast.” My goal is to make it eight. Overachiever, I am.

So if you notice a tendency toward ‘shroom-induced changes of perspective in my works, that’s the reason. I haven’t had a mushroom pizza on a portabella mushroom crust: I’m just paying homage to one of my writing heroes.

And maybe I had a mushroom or two.



CaveatReader CropHoleColorRev7BI don’t promo well, but my social reality person has gone on the lam, so I’m going to take a stab at it.  I’m offering a big promotional deal to all of my loyal Readers from now until October 23rd.  Here’s what I need from you:

1. Support the NaNoWriMo Young Writers’ Fund by going to http://www.adropofinkreviews.com/ and making a donation. In exchange for your donation, you will get five non-DRM books: Veneri Verbum, Grave Beginnings by R.L. Virdi, Dawn of Steam: First Light by Jeffrey Cook and Sarah Symonds, Think Happy Club: Friendship by Grace Snoke and Anne Saucer and Rose in the Dark by Casia Schreyer. Any donation gets you five books. All donations will go to the Fund, which supports the development of young writers.
2. Write a review of any book written by a NaNoWriMo writer. Need some recommendations? Ask!  Please post your review on Amazon, Goodreads, and Facebook.  You can post it here, too, for bonus points. (Legal disclaimer: Bonus points are good for exactly squat, diddly, and nada, but are excellent for making your favorite Figment-Writer happy.)
3. Buy a copy of Veneri Verbum in any format. Note that step one can count for this, but if you want a signed paperback, I will send those out over the next two weeks for only $5 plus shipping. Yep, better than Amazon, even with Prime, unless you live somewhere out of the way. I recommend moving before you order.

Here’s what you get from me:

  1. Five full minutes of undivided-but-genuine gratitude.
  2. A coupon for a signed paperback copy of the next book, Caveat, Beta!, for just $5 plus shipping or for the e-book version for just $0.99.  Tentative release date: February 12, 2016.
  3. A coupon for a signed paperback copy of the third Figments book, The Big Con, for just $5 plus shipping or for the e-book version for just $0.99. Tentative release date: August 12, 2016.
  4. A free copy of the short, The Eleventh Hour, with any order.
  5. One Character in an as-yet-unnamed and unplanned Figments story that will be all about the joys of book promotion, but funny. No, really. It will be funny and you will have artistic control over the Character. Not the plot. That’s my gig.

Oh, right.  Where to send stuff.

You can either send stuff to my email address (zanzibar7schwarznegger@gmail.com) or post it as a comment to this blog post.  I need links to reviews and either a receipt showing purchase of a book or a photo of a book.  If you buy it directly from me, I’ll save you a step.

Where can you buy my book?

So, there it is.  Why are you still here?

I’m Melting!

I left the frozen Midwest and went to California. California means sunshine and warm, right?

Well, right, but someone must be messing with the temperature controls.  It’s March.  The temperature is hot. Don’t ask me how hot. I’m melting. I can’t type for long.

No one warned me that Figments can melt.  I bet that’s really what happened to the Wicked Witch.  She was from a dry story and someone moved her to a story with water.  Insta-melt.

I’ll post something new when I’m not a Figment-puddle.  At least it might be too hot for The Conductor, too.


Someone named Taylor Swift (she of the Pegicorn costume) insured her legs for forty million dollars.  This means that if her legs go on strike, she gets money.

If this were Jonathan Swift, he’d insure his wit.

If it were Shakespeare, he’d insure his words.

I’m not sure what a Figment insures.  My character?

What would you insure?


I’m having an issue with time. It flows in a straight line here. No jumping around. No occasional skips or repeats. People actually wait for things. You could grow old doing that.

I went to a library yesterday. I saw three people reading, eleven talking over homework, two browsing the aisles, one talking to a librarian, and forty-seven on computers. Based on those odds, all my books will need to be in electronic form just to have anyone read them.

Something to think about…

What is Data Limit?

Apparently I hit a Data limit and was unable to Enter Net. I’m not sure what an android has to do with limiting my posts, but it happened.  Maybe it was out of respect for the pointy-ear guy who went to the Captain’s Table. #LLAP

I tried to use something called WhyFie.  Who knew Shakespeare had a hand in the EnterNet? I couldn’t Pass the Word, though, so I had to wait until the Data limit went away.

Lyphe is so incredibly  confusing sometimes. No wonder real people read books.

To Sleep, Perchance

I learned something new today: I need sleep in this world!  I was feeling a little tired, so I had coffee– not my favorite drink, but it usually does the trick.  Coffee must work differently here; I felt like a Split Personality. Very unpleasant, all my thoughts running everywhere. I may steer clear of caffeine in the future.

Two hours later, I suddenly ran out of energy as if a Leech had sucked it from me. I had a wave of dizziness and my vision even blackened.  I managed to make it to a safe location before the blackness took over.

I slept.  I have seen Characters and Figments sleep before, but they were written that way. I wasn’t written to sleep. Since I also wasn’t written to be a writer in this world, I suppose it’s a trade-off.  I woke up this morning, feeling much better. I’ll have to research this sleep and find out how much is required for optimum performance. I don’t want to get caught somewhere needing sleep when The Conductor is about.

That could be fatal.

Arrived in Mini Soda

I’m very confused. The state is named Mini Soda, but there’s no soda here. It’s all water! Lakes, lakes, and more lakes.  If I ask for soda, I’m asked if I want a pop.  Why would I want to pop?!

I came here to get away from the snow and cold, but there’s plenty of cold today.  I don’t know what Fair in Height and Sell See Us has to do with temperature, but if the numbers are small, it’s cold!  If the numbers are negative, it’s really cold. Of course it is… I’m negative about the cold, too!

I don’t think I’ll be here long. I can’t feel my fingers. How do you write if you can’t feel your fingers?

On a side note, I think I saw a Muse yesterday. Or a Fury.  Maybe I’m running from them, not The Conductor.

Snow is Cold and Cold is Bad!

I made it to Nuyark and there is lots of snow. Too much snow. Snow is cold, cold, cold! I heard there’s even more snow in Bahstun.  I’m definitely not going there.

There is someone here in Nuyark called The Puhblishur.  Sounds almost as scary as The Conductor. I don’t know what a Reejakeshun Letter is, but one made two writers I met cry. I might have to find a way to write without meeting The Puhblishur.

I think I’ll go back to the rain. Wet is better than cold.

Writing is Strange

I don’t understand how writing works here. I write things down… and nothing happens. My characters don’t show up. My scenery doesn’t change. Maybe it’s a quirk in the system I’m using. I’ll have to play around with it later.

I heard a rumor that writers often go to a place called Nuyerk.  I heard another rumor that there is a lot of snow in Nuyerk. I’ve never seen real snow. I might have to go look.